The Five Things To Love In The Indiana Jones Trailer

Stop what you are doing to run, don’t walk, over to the newly unleashed trailer for Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull. For the record, the title still leaves me a bit cold, but nothing could ever top the horror of Attack of the Clones, which I invariable refer to as “Attack of the Clown” as my mind tries to rationalize Hayden Christensen’s acting as broad farce. But back to Indiana Jones and its trailer that made me feel twelve again. There is no way they could possible screw this up. Right? Lie to me even if you don’t agree.

John Williams Score and That Hat
I don’t know which one of these pop culture treasures is more beloved in my heart, John Williams’s theme, which swells and peaks in way that just scream “we are about to have an adventure” or that hat, a piece of clothing I would sell my soul to look cool in. I’ve tried on many an Indy hat on in an attempt to look as good, but have failed every time.

A much needed “Too Old For This Shit” Moment
We all know that Harrison Ford is, well, to go all Murtaugh on you, “too old for this shit” and I’d be pretty miffed if this trailer didn’t acknowledge that Indy’s adventure should be some place in his past. Shouldn’t he be collecting retirement checks while rocking in a chair, telling tales of his deeds to students? Well, yes, but Indy has one adventure left in him, even if his aim and spatial senses are a little off.

Cate Blanchett Knows How To Work a Wig
According to spoilers circulating the web, Blanchett plays the villain, the aptly named Agent Irina Spalko. Is it a rule that if you are Russian and evil are name is Irina? Blanchett can make a insurance law seem compelling and by the looks of it (and I, for one, couldn’t take my eyes off that hair), she is bringing heavy doses of surly badassery. Is badassery a word? Who cares. That is what she is.

A Family That Hunts Down Treasure Together … Well, You Know
In case you have been living under a rock, you must know by now that Marion Ravenwood, my drinking role model, is back as Indiana’s wife and the mother of his teenaged son… I think. Marion was always my favorite Indiana love interest, a woman who never took any of Indiana shit and dished out heaps of her own when necessary, so I am beyond the moon about this development. Apparently, Karen Allen has made some sort of deal with the devil since she hasn’t aged since 1993. The only sticking point to this whole family outing is you would think Indiana and Marion would have produced a more daper kid. No disrespect to Shia as an actor, but I was expecting someone more rugged to inherit the Jones family adventure streak.

It’s Indiana Fucking Jones
The trailer’s final image, the man, the icon, the object of affection and the very definition of geek, book smart cool (take that, Dr. Robert Langdon), is what sells this movie to me. I got chills. I felt like a kid again.

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